Rejection

How Do You Handle Rejection?

This year, I have experienced some rejections.

In March, I got called for an interview. The ones you are so confident about acing, that you seem relaxed and your fellow interviewees even notice this and comment admiringly, about your composure. I was so sure I was getting this job that I did not experience any form of jitters.

Precisely a week after the interview, I received rejection mail from the said organization and in as much as I tried (albeit successfully) to act cool about it, the rejection mail hit me like a tonne of bricks. I couldn’t help feeling this pain in my chest that I was not getting the job I was so sure of getting.

I did spend some brief moments wondering what I did wrong or did not think of doing, during the interview to warrant this mail. And as if to add salt to injury, a certain magazine I was contributing for did not seem that appreciative of my contributions. Talk of a double blow. I ceased sending in any article submissions just for my own sanity.

Let’s not even go to love relationships where many have experienced the worst forms of rejection from someone they thought felt the same way about them. No matter the various dimensions that rejection takes, whether subtle or downright harsh, it is still rejection. When a love interest suggests a friendship to the other instead of a romantic relationship, in spite of the polite way the suggestion has been packaged, to the one in love, it will still sting.

We may try to act hypocritical about how we individually handle rejection, but we can all secretly agree that any form of rejection always deals some sort of blow to our esteem. It is not only the ones known to previously possess the worst self esteem who suffer emotionally in the face of rejection. We all do for a fact. And we all have our own individual ways of dealing with rejection.

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In my opinion, if you fail to deal with rejection, it only causes you to harbor resentment toward those who have rejected you. I’m the kind of person who has not always handled rejection well. However, experience has since taught me to purpose to face those accompanying negative feelings, whenever I’m faced with rejection in a rational manner.

When we are hurting from a rejection, should we decide to quickly react to the negative way we are feeling, we risk causing unnecessary friction or making fools of ourselves. That is why it is important to channel our negative emotions on something else other than on the person/people who have rejected us. At that particular moment in time, it is usually best to avoid those who have caused us this pain we are currently battling, until we are sure we can face and interact with them without feeling any anger or resentment toward them.

Writing has always proven therapeutic for me and therefore one of the ways of channeling my negative emotions on something else other than on the doer of the action (the person/people who have rejected me). Talking to a trusted friend or relative about the rejection is yet another way of not only channeling your negative emotions onto something else but equally letting it out of your system. But make sure that those you open up to, have the wisdom to understand the root of your pain or anger and do not end up accusing you of lumping your troubles on them.

Immersing yourself in your occupation is equally another way of channeling your negative emotions onto something constructive. The thing with work and preoccupation is that it takes your mind off things and before you realize it, you may have forgotten all about the pain the incident of rejection had caused you and therefore, find it easier to cope with.

And while facing rejection is never easy, sometimes there’s a brighter side to it if you choose to look at it that way. Perhaps what you thought was meant to be was in reality something that wouldn’t have been good for you. Rejection can also bring to your attention aspects about yourself that you really need to work on to avoid future rejections if you are open to it.

The best rejection is when it is brought to your attention exactly why you are being rejected as opposed to when you get no explanation whatsoever about the reason. Yes, it may really hurt being told something negative about yourself but at least it gives you a clear justification as to why the rejection is happening or happened. Knowing yourself better, you can decide for yourself whether it’s worth mulling over or is something that you need to move away from and align yourself with positivity instead.

Thank God that at least every human has experienced rejection before so it’s not an entirely foreign thing exclusive only to you.