5 Red Flags To Check Out For On A First Date

He just asked you out on a first date, you are excited. Probably it has been a while since any man showed signs of interest in you. This looks promising. But what red flags do you need to check out for on a first date?

Photo Credits: Internet Sources

Photo Credits: Internet Sources

1. The guy talking incessantly about himself

I’m one of those types of people who appear tolerant of others. I have equally been on a couple of dates, where I had to listen to a guy ramble on about his achievements and job the entire date, with a face that looked believably interested. However, I consider this a classic red flag of a self centered individual.

When a man asks you out on a first date, the aim is to get to know you a little bit better and to decide whether they want to see you again or not. Therefore, the conversation should be back and forth as you are also trying to know the same about him. I mean, he hasn’t invited you to listen to a monologue about his entire life!

If you proceed to date this guy, he will never give you a chance to express yourself in the relationship.

2. The guy seeming distracted.

This is a first date. You are supposed to be on your best behavior. You are supposed to be on a quest to impress me. But if you are busy checking your phone or wrist watch every now and then and appearing absent minded, you probably are not that interested in knowing or dating me.

If you proceed to date this guy, he will never have time for you.

3. The guy is ogling at you and other women openly during the date.

Creep. No manners.

If he can’t be courteous enough to show you some respect on a first date, he will never be courteous to you in the relationship. Men are visual creatures and female bodies turn them on big time, but that fact should not be a warrant for a particular man, to act disrespectfully to a woman he has asked out on a first date. Huge red flag that you will probably have to deal with countless women of his and baby mamas should you go ahead and date him.

4. The guy suggesting to cook you dinner or lunch at his home on a first date.

You don’t know this guy. You don’t know if he has a criminal record. Why should you trust him enough to head over to his home on a first date? Men who suggest first dates to their homes have no intention of putting any effort to pursue you. In my country, some men have over time convinced themselves that women are too easy so they don’t bother putting in any effort. They simply assume that if they act all sweet by suggesting they want to cook you a delicious meal at their homes, you will interpret this to mean that they are romantic to want to cook for you.

Call me materialistic but this is the most cheapest first date. They get to spend about 200shs to whip up a convincing meal and still get the additional priviledge of a condusive environment for rushed sex to happen. Sorry girl, this man only wanted a lay, used the crudest method to get laid and isn’t going to date you. Give yourself some class woman and avoid initial dates to men’s houses.

5. The guy is not bothered how you make it home after the date and calling to find out if you reached safely.

A friend of mine on facebook complains bitterly, about the misguided form of feminism that often seeems to rubbish the men’s efforts in society and frequently seems to trample on the male gender. I respect feminists and subscribe to feminism thinking when blogging on societal issues but feminist or not, let the man pay for your first date. Let the man cater for how you will get back home from the date.

You prove nothing by trying to show a man on a first date that you can provide for yourself. How will you know if this man is a protector or a provider if you come with money for your food, drink and cab fare, ready to trash his efforts to wow you on a first date? I’m not implying that you carry no money in your purse on a first date. A 21st century, liberated woman always carries enough money for the day in her purse. I’m only implying that you resist the urge to prove to this man, that you’ve got your own cash and can make it home on your own means. Trust me, if you act that way on a first date, he will never try to impress nor pursue you in future.

If he doesn’t call to find out if you made it home safely after the date, he doesn’t care about your welfare. A gentleman will always make sure any woman he’s out on a date with had transport home catered for and actually got home without any mishap. These gentlemen are out there! It’s only that women have over time worked so hard to prove to men how equal they are to them, that men nowadays see no need to try doing some things that they did effortlessly in the past.

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2 comments

  1. I can’t disagree with any of those. I think I’d be fine with all those if I ever get round to a first date!
    Actually most of your points can be equally applied the other way round (i.e. things that women do that wind up men).
    Regarding item 4, how many dates do you think it would take before you felt comfortable to visit his place for his cooking? There’s got to be some point where one of you visits the other person’s home.

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    1. Hi Engineering dad?
      Personally, I think a couple of dates out in public like 4 or 5 are okay before I can feel I trust this person’s intentions to go over to his house. When I’m talking about 4 or 5 dates, those could be stretched out in a period of about 2 to 3 months.
      You are also trying to delay sex happening in that period as you get to know this person better. However, everyone is different. It could be on the 2nd date when you wind up at a man’s house or a 3rd or a 4th. It depends on what a woman wants.
      As a woman, I insist first dates to a guy’s house are complete NO-NOs if you are looking for something serious or someone who’ll take you seriously. A house is pretty much condusive for sex to happen. Why would you be jumping straight to sex on a first date before even knowing if you two are compartible?
      By the way, I would love to know what red flags men should look out for from a woman on a first date. So if you do a post on that alert me 🙂

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