How Do You Deal With A Workaholic Boyfriend?

You get a life!

Image courtesy of

Image courtesy of

Simple as that.

At some point in life, a woman will encounter a man that she’s thoroughly smitten with. The man will equally seem to be in the same boat as the woman, but not for long. Soon the woman will realize that all of this man’s time is spent at work or working. I mention “all of this man’s time” because he will not have time to spare for her. His calls will diminish. His texting habits will be close to nil. He will seem like he cannot spare any of his free time to be with her if the talk of targets and deadlines are anything to go by.

Then the woman being a woman will start to question. And the man will have a seemingly justified reason as to why he seems to be having trouble accommodating the woman in his life. He is in the process of building himself up. He is not really looking to date at the moment. Give him some time until he gets to a certain target then he will now have enough time to spend with you. All this is utter BS!

Wasn’t he the same man who had sex with you? Wasn’t he the same man who once displayed all the signs of wishing to be exclusive? Wasn’t he the same man who initially pursued you as if he couldn’t live without you? Didn’t you two at some point seem to genuinely enjoy each other’s company?

Dear woman,

A man who really wants to be with you will stick around. I have witnessed long distance relationships where both parties involved worked highly demanding jobs and the relationship survived!

Men who are not sure about women they are starting to see will come up with all sorts of excuses just to get away from them and figure themselves out. This man cannot tell you upfront that he is just not sure about you. He knows that if he did that, you will be highly upset. You will break down in tears, you may rant and rave at him, you may demand answers, you may feel betrayed. He risks losing you for good.

So he will seek something that provides him with an almost believable, valid reason as to why he cannot accommodate you in his life. He will tell you how demanding his work is. He will tell you how he would really like to build himself up (as if you have no desire to equally build yourself up career-wise). He knows that if he gives you work as an excuse you really have nothing to hold against him because it is near impossible to give up a source of livelihood for someone or for love.

If you encounter such a man who chooses work over you, walk away with your dignity intact. Do not coerce, cajole or worst case scenario, throw a tantrum. You see, scarcity breeds longing. He may not be sure about you this time but trust me, the minute you walk away and focus on what is really important to you, including your career, he will surely take notice. Hell, he will! And for the sole reason that you did not display desperation. You let him go because you were not willing to be an option when he had the ability to make you a priority.

Ladies, I repeat, work or no work, demanding job or not, a man who really wants to be with you will stick around. Do not reduce yourself to a beggar for love and attention from the opposite sex.

So he’s busy with work, OK, you are busy with work too. You have targets to reach, money to make, girlfriends to spend time with, hobbies to keep you preoccupied, more time to mingle actually and meet that man who is already sure about you. If the so called Mr. Workaholic comes trooping back after months of being preoccupied with work, you will then have a clearer perspective of whether you want to take him back or not.

If you are in the process of typing “how do you deal…” on an online dating forum, just stop! Will you! You are too precious to dwell on people who are dismissive of your precious self. Look around you, there’s so much to enjoy than wallowing in the pit of misery over a workaholic man.


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