For many people, the term “No Strings Attached” evokes a scenario where two people of the opposite sex, are just in it for the sex and nothing more.
It is downright ungodly for many. Risky business for those who firmly believe in solid relationships and yet a constraints-free kind of arrangement for the liberals.
” No Strings Attached”, “Friends With Benefits” arrangements are the preferred choice for daters who have previously suffered a sequence of failed relationships, are on the verge of giving up on ever finding true love and are therefore, tired of the drama.
They are equally very preferable for independents who dislike being pinned down by relationship demands at that particular point in time. A common feature amongst commitment phobes for that line of reasoning.
While the initial intention of such arrangements is to minimize as much as possible the drama that comes with being in a committed relationship, No Strings Attached scenarios have a reputation of going all haywire for either party. Most have suddenly transformed into a “many strings attached” bother after very short periods of success.
However, despite the shaky ground characterized by such, these kinds of arrangements are quite common among young adults. A juicy script for filmmakers.
So for someone wishing to get into a strictly “No strings attached” situation with another, what are the things you need to firstly consider?
This is the ultimate deal breaker for such arrangements. Once the feelings surface and usually from one of the parties, then the whole arrangement fast scuttles to destruction.
When considering getting into an NSA (No Strings Attached) arrangement, be sure that the candidate you pick is someone you have interacted with in the recent past.Preferably a friend you have no intention whatsoever of dating and have NEVER had any intention of doing so in the past.
Unlike a complete stranger whom you risk disappearing from your life once the deal is done or have no way of telling how h/she will treat you once the thrill of uncommitted sex wears off, a friend is someone you have previously bonded with on a whole lot of other different levels. In most cases, you have an in depth if not slight knowledge of their past sex life and their habits with men or women.
A friend is someone you can smoothly transition back to friendship with no benefits once the arrangement for sex is terminated.
A lot of people who have had NSA stints in the past thought of doing it with people they have just met. That way, they figured it would be way easier not to develop feelings toward each other, right? Wrong!
An NSA is a highly risky business and you definitely would want to do it with someone you know will have your back when it’s long done. Someone you can easily communicate with considering the stigma attached to the whole scenario. Someone you hope and may even have a knowledge that h/she will handle the ultimate deal breaker (deeper feelings developed) maturely and amicably.
Who else other than a friend?
It is always wise to be straightforward with your intentions before anything more than friendship happens between you two. Be sure that you are both on the same page in this. Discuss the pros and cons of doing it and possibly how you are going to ease off it once the thrill wears off or you finally meet other people and decide to be exclusive with them. Agree on the contraceptive method.
Before wading into the murky waters of NSAs full of uncertainties and the all too real fear of getting attached you need to be sure that no miscommunication between you two will occur. You don’t fancy unpleasant surprises to crop up in the form of bouts of jealousy, an unplanned pregnancy or ugly accusations.
Considering the nature of this arrangement, the last thing you need is a blabber mouth. Nobody likes their sex life being aired to all and sundry and especially if it borders on the “unusual” kind. The parties involved have to therefore agree on the amount of discretion to exercise.
Would you be OK with your close friends knowing about it? Better yet, his or her close friends knowing about it? How is it going to impact your life if it comes to light? These are questions that need to be tackled and addressed before taking the plunge.
In conventional societies, NSAs are viewed as some form of immorality and it would be wise to keep that in mind if you fall in the said category.
There are values that certain people possess. I would therefore highly discourage women or men, who prefer exclusivity and solid relationships from agreeing to an NSA, in the hopes of it growing into something deeper with time.
A lot of daters make that silly mistake of getting into undefined relationships, only to end up thoroughly hurt and broken when the truth finally dawns on them that it was just the sex. Religion equally plays a role here. If you are the religious type who follows his or her religion doctrines to the letter, steer clear of NSAs.
Most Holy books talk of a pure love, preach chastity and virginity before marriage. Rather than engage in something you are not comfortable with only to suffer intense guilt afterward, it would be best to stick to your values and the doctrines of the religion you profess.
However, the choice to get into a “No Strings Attached” arrangement or not remains solely with an individual and how they plan on handling it.
Happy New Year Fellow Bloggers and Readers!!!