The beauty of being way past teenage hood is that you start understanding that crushes are fickle. You still get them once in a while, but they do not rule your life as much as they ruled it back then, when you were 14 or 16.
I have a crush on someone. Hahaha, fancy me admitting that on my blog.
It’s someone I interact with. Someone I have no chance whatsoever of ever having something with. Mostly, because he has someone solid in his life. But he’s tall, chocolate and all that. Every African woman’s dream. Tall, dark (not quite dark in his case) and handsome.
I have a strong feeling that he’s crushing on me too. A day doesn’t pass without him checking up on me several times, just to chit chat a bit. If he doesn’t show up, I start to worry a little, lol. But usually, he’s quite busy if he is not popping in to say hi and joke around. And did I say he’s funny too? Always has me in stitches.
Yesterday, I surprised myself even when it started to bother me, that he wasn’t around for my birthday (oh, it was my birthday yesterday, my readers). Turns out he was unwell so today morning, he came to apologize for going MIA the previous day and I could hear myself with a hint of suspicion asking, “Really?”
I know he was truly unwell. He had told me himself the day before yesterday, but I still had a tiny bit of expectation of him being around for my birthday and he was actually going along with it, by explaining himself today morning.
I did have a wonderful day yesterday. Lots of love from my former classmates, friends and family. I don’t think I have ever gotten as much birthday wishes before as I did yesterday. So really, it’s not such a huge deal for me if my crush was conspicuously absent and with good reason (him being sick).
Anyways, I’m just glad that I have full knowledge where this crush is coming from. I have been recently working on a relationship that didn’t work out meaning, I’m newly single. In light of that, I’m bound to crush on people and to feel like I really like this person today only for it to change tomorrow. This is one of those crushes that will probably fade before I know it.
It just shows me that I’m human and that I haven’t lost that ability to feel affection for someone of the opposite sex. It shows me that I understand where my boundaries lie and actually accept that something that clearly won’t happen, won’t happen. Forgive the repetition. More so, it proves to me that I’m way past that age of taking crushes seriously.
I don’t have to act on it. I don’t even need to do anything about it. It’s not something that will cause my stomach to churn in anticipation, every time I see him walk by or to blush furiously, every time he looks at me. I don’t need unnecessary explanations as to why he didn’t come over the other day to say hi.
The beauty of crushes for me at this time is that they are stress free. And if I start dwelling on them a little more than I should, I quickly jolt myself back to reality with the declaration that IT’S JUST A CRUSH.
So how do you deal with your crushes?