There is a myth out there that a man and woman cannot just be platonic friends. That sooner or later one is going to start developing feelings for the other or they may end up between the sheets, often times with disastrous results.
I will tell you why the latter outcome occurs. When you start messing up friendship with sex, then complications are bound to arise. And it is for this reason why I firmly believe that, a non-sexual friendship with the opposite sex can occur and is actually healthy.
For a single woman not looking to get into a relationship any time soon, you need guy friends.
In fact, a couple of guy friends.
There comes a time in everyone’s life (who is not hitched for that matter) when you just don’t fancy being in a relationship with someone. It doesn’t mean that you have failed at love or can’t keep a man in your life. It simply means that you are not in the right frame of mind, to nurture a serious relationship which in the real sense is actually normal.
Perhaps there are things you want to achieve or you simply need a break to know yourself. And this is why platonic friends of the opposite sex are important during this phase;
There is no pressure to impress
With guy friends, you don’t need to impress. You are simply you with all your imperfections and perfections. Nobody is going to judge you since there are no feelings involved. For single women with guy best friends, they probably know just how refreshing it is to have someone in your life, whom you don’t have to adopt something that’s not you when around them.
People say that a healthy relationship is when your boyfriend can be able to see the real you and you are not putting up a facade for them. However, especially in the early stages of dating, this is a little bit difficult to achieve. We always seem to have this inherent need to impress. Put on our best show so that we can endear that other person to us.
There is a reason why relationship experts advice people to start a romantic relationship with friendship first. Because then, there is no pressure to put up an act only for your true colors to show later. Doesn’t mean that every platonic friendship you forge with someone of the opposite sex should eventually lead to a romantic relationship. You can just enjoy being you for as long as it lasts knowing that the other person appreciates who you truly are.
You don’t spend much time discussing your love life with guy friends.
This is actually a good thing as it takes your mind off the fact that you are currently single. Sometimes women friends have a tendency to talk about their love lives and actually brood about them. It doesn’t help matters if you are single yet all your girl friends seem to be in solid, loving relationships with the men in their lives and can’t seem to stop themselves from bragging about it.
Be assured that with a guy friend you will not encounter questions such as “whom are you currently seeing?” or “have you met someone yet?”
I find that I can spend hours talking about a whole bunch of different topics with my guy friends other than my love life. Most of them do not even seem to care whether, I have finally found the one or is currently searching unsuccessfully or is almost giving up on love for that matter.
Guy friends have your back
Doesn’t mean that girl friends don’t. I just think that the “having your back” thing with guy friends is more solid than with girl friends. Let’s face it, women can be unpredictable. We deal with a whole lot of new things on a daily basis. Sometimes we are not at our level best to have a fellow girl friend’s back fully.
I find that men can handle the unpredictability of life’s challenges a little better than women. It is not very common to hear of a guy friend backstabbing his chic friend. Guy friends are equally very efficient at carrying out favors. Obviously, women should not take advantage of that aspect and therefore turn into conniving little users. As a matter of fact, they should equally reciprocate the non-sexual favors.
With a guy friend, love can eventually happen
I know so many women want to hear this.
I don’t dispute this fact either.
However, I don’t encourage this to be the only goal in forging a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. It so happens that the other person might not be able to reciprocate your feelings. If you are mature enough to accept that and move on, the friendship remains solid. If not, then you risk losing a good friend.
And despite having that awesome guy friend in your life, boundaries equally need to be there. You don’t want to put yourself in a situation where sex happens with someone you have just been platonic friends with.
They don’t have to be spoken boundaries. Simply unspoken ones where either person knows how far he or she can go with the other. Your friendship shouldn’t be threatened by the fact that one of you has started seeing someone.If that indeed happens, then the other person should be understanding and accommodative of the changed situation.
Being single is a time to discover other aspects about yourself that you initially had no idea existed. It is not a time to mourn the fact that you have no man in your life. It is a preparation for the next romantic relationship you are going to be in.