Why I Think Njoki Chege’s Article On Interracial Dating Gone Wrong Is On Point

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I’m posting in reference to the above article, by controversial Saturday Nation, City Girl Columnist, Njoki Chege that appeared today on the paper. And while I may not necessarily agree with all the articles that this young woman writes, I can’t help but mention that her brashness sometimes makes a lot of sense.

I even went ahead to comment on the status update last night on Facebook, concerning the said article and so far, the feedback I have gotten just from that simple comment of mine is very positive. It actually formed the inspiration behind this post.

A section of readers have chosen to bash Njoki for this article with some going as far as branding her a racist. Nowadays, I have come to realize that the word racist is being thrown around carelessly. Quite recently, I got branded a racist for claiming that someone else was. This person of interest had decided to attack a particular nationality and judging by his previous displays of sheer arrogance and ignorance toward other races, I was led to conclude that he is probably a racist.

My point was that he had to think first before making certain statements as they are surely going to ruffle some feathers. And suddenly someone called me a racist. Of course that didn’t bother me as such because I knew what had motivated me to state that. It is not a word I use on a daily basis considering that I come from a predominantly African population.

Moving on…

White men in recent times are increasingly taking advantage of desperate Kenyan women who get into relationships with them. About a year back, there was a case of a Kenyan University student who had been cohabiting with an older White man without the knowledge of her family, dying in the house. Apparently, her foreign boyfriend had locked her indoors denying her access to her insulin (she was diabetic) if my memory serves me right.

The end result, a young life snuffed out so senselessly.

Njoki Chege on the other hand spoke of yet another young Kenyan woman, whose sexual violation by a White man she got romantically involved with, got filmed and the clip has been doing the rounds on the Kenyan social media scene. About a month back, as I was walking down the streets of Nakuru, I saw a woman of nearly my mother’s age, being groped shamelessly by a White man I assumed was her boyfriend. It was a disgusting sight seeing that in African society we don’t really engage in PDA.

You see, the issue is not with the White men with ill intentions who get into relationships with Kenyan women. The issue lies with us Kenyan women who decide to take our golddigging habits a notch higher by nabbing these wazungus we assume are rich. The issue lies with our refusal to respect ourselves and our bodies therefore leaving ourselves vulnerable to all kinds of ills from these White men, who obviously smell our greed from miles away. Similar with African men, you show them that you are after their pockets and they get back at you by misusing you sexually.

No man whether black or white can immediately resort to treating a woman badly if she appears motivated, focused and sure of herself. Even if some may try to push the buttons a little, the end result will most probably be a shameful telling off from the said woman. But a woman who appears unfocused and willing to do anything just for money, easily falls prey to those kinds of men whose view of women is perverted and out of the ordinary.

Of course there are those wazungus who have refused to let go of the slave mentality, according to Njoki Chege and therefore still view Africans as lesser beings, to be treated like a mound of dirt. However, activists have done a very good job over the years, in restoring the respect of the races that were once considered a minority.

And though their efforts have gone a very long way in changing the mindsets of those stubborn willed individuals reluctant to embrace change, it doesn’t mean that we can now sit pretty and assume that all is well. We have to continually carry on the mantle of activism not by acting cruelly or with contempt, but by showing those wazungus with the slave mentality, that they are the ones who have a lot of changing to do and not us.

Just because you have trouble paying your bills, dropped out of school, got children out of wedlock or lost a husband to hard liquor, does not mean that you should fall for that mzungu’s charms you see frequenting that restaurant you work in as a waitress. It does not mean that you should spend hours at a cyber, searching online for prospective White men, whom you have no way of telling if they are registered sexual offenders back home or not. It does not mean that every pale skin you see translates into wads of dollars likely to get you out of poverty.

It is this desperate and warped sense of mind by a section of Kenyan women, that lands them into hot soup with foreigners, not interested in true love but only a fulfillment of their out of this world sexual fantasies. Not all Mzungus you see visiting our country have ill intentions toward Kenyan women.

But how do we make them view us?

We make them view us as cheap women, lacking in any ounce of dignity, willing to go as far as engaging in beastiality acts, just to make some money for ourselves. To live the good (but miserable) life. We show them that we do not even appreciate the color of our skin, by lightening ourselves so that the Mzungu can love us more.

These foreigners are not fools. They smell insecurity, a willingness to prostitute, desperation and greed in us and they chuckle to themselves while they walk hand in hand down the street with you, once in a while groping your ass in public or planting a wet kiss on your lips. Things I’m 100% sure they would not do with a woman who carried herself with dignity or with their fellow white women.

I have seen Kenyan women get married to sober minded White men, who treat them respectfully and lovingly and all because the initial motivation behind their relationship, was not all about money and the perks of being associated with a Mzungu. Kenyan women need to learn that in order to get true love, you have to carry yourself as a woman deserving of true love and not a cheapskate. And as brash as Njoki sounds in this article, she speaks the hard truth.

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