I know today I’m definitely going to ruffle some feathers with my post, but you know what, I have no apologies.
I don’t care if some of you men feel like poking my eyes out. I’m entitled to my opinion which I shall do so with relish on my blog.
Who said that women ought to earn respect from a man by acting in certain ways???
I didn’t, but society did.
Then what happened???
Women turned into insecure beings who constantly self critic themselves as well as second guess themselves.
Society said, and I’m assuming a patriarchal society, which makes up nearly more than half of the whole world’s population, that women shall live by a set of rules governed by what the men thought of them, in order to gain respect from the men.
I’m saying different today.
I have guy friends who have acted like total jerks and saw nothing absolutely wrong with acting the way that they did. But if I happened to flip out on them, I’m the bad one. I’m the psychotic chic, who should know better when to shut her trap and when to open it to spew out things the men consider as,
nonsense and overreaction from mad women. Boyfriends or potential lovers who made me lose my respect for them by their actions and continued breezily with life as if nothing has happened.
So why then is the burden on women to be cautious of what the men are going to think of them? Why have the women been made to feel as if they have to work so hard or not be themselves in order to earn some form of respect from the male gender?
If a woman sleeps too soon with a guy, then the guy begins treating her like a slut because he thought she was cheap for dishing out the cookies ASAP, then it is automatically the woman’s fault. She should have known better to shut her legs tight so that men can respect her worth and not treat her like a slut.
If she indeed sleeps with a guy after perhaps 3 months then he bolts, then probably it is her fault yet again, for not reading the signs that the guy wasn’t serious early enough. If she gets fed up by what the man has been doing that irks her and rains insults on him someday, then she deserves a waterfall of slaps because she is disrespectful.
If the man decides to be pounding her daily like maize in a mortar with a pestle, then she should endure and “pray” that God someday, answers her prayers and tames her man. Better yet, to the point where he will respect her and stop giving her random bruises for imaginary wrongs or during those moments in his drunken state, he assumes that she is Triple H from WWE and wants to settle a score with “him”.
That according to me is the most outrageous chauvinistic thinking that has affected women gravely over the years.
If you think you are going to earn respect from a man for doing certain things, then you are doing a great disservice to yourself. If a man is naturally disrespectful of women, he will disrespect even those who dress decently, covering up each and every part on their bodies. He will disrespect even those who do not sleep around by sending sexual innuendos their way. He will disrespect even those women who hardly answer back when a man is speaking.
Ladies, your goal in life should not be to earn respect from men. It should be to earn respect for yourself. If you want to cover up, it is for yourself and not so that men can view you as wife material or disciplined. If you want to remain a virgin till marriage then it is for your own good and the good of your future marriage life. Not because men consider virgins pure and those who’ve had a couple of sexual partners in their single lifetime, immoral.
If a man goes quiet on you after f****g you, girl, it is not your fault in any way. Remember, he participated in it too. He should in fact be equally beating himself over it because of his carelessness instead of acting in a callous, castigating way. Women need to take control of their sexuality and stop feeling as if they gave it up too soon and that’s why this occurrence is now taking place.
If men have taken control of their sexuality to the extent where they can sleep with whomever and disappear on that person, then why should the modern woman feel as if she needs to beat herself for being with such a man? Why does she have to feel like she needs to prove to that man, that she wasn’t slutty in doing it, then have him trample over her and brand her desperate.
If he was only looking for fun, then it is perfectly in order, to say that she was equally looking for fun and doesn’t care whatsoever, if he considers her a slut or an upright person. As a matter of fact, if the man starts to disrespect her as a result of that, she has every right to tell him off and cut links with such a man, pretending to be sexually mature, when in the real sense he is engaging in sex as some form of conquest game.
Women need to do away with the ‘it is my fault’ mentality because in having it, we are letting men get away with all sorts of misdeeds. We are allowing men to dictate how our lives shall be. Are they themselves reciprocating to us what they preach???
So they want us to be sexually upright, but it is totally fine for them to have numerous shagmates. They want us to dress in a certain way, but some are busy secretly admiring the short, tight skirts on well endowed women. They want to insult us by doing all sorts of unfair things to us but we are supposed to keep quiet about it and forget about it.
I’m not implying in any way that all men fall under this crude category. I speak to the women to stop pegging their respect on what the men in the society think. To hold their heads up high and raise those children single handedly, even if men assume them to be whores and non-marriage material, for giving birth before marriage. To forgive themselves for having sex too soon, learn their lessons and shut that man out who thinks he now has the warrant to shame them for doing it.
Respect comes from within and not from what others think of you.