“Busty Women Love Sex”

I have put the title of my post today in quotes because it is something I heard from someone else quite recently actually. And sadly, from a fellow female. I don’t know how that came about, but this minute we were talking about something else and the next, she was like she has heard that phrase being thrown about. And the way she said it seemed like she really believed in it. My first reaction was rather personal, as I took it as a direct jab to my physique which falls in the said category. My next reaction was, appalled. In that state, I wondered who had come up with such a nasty truth sexual stereotype which I had never heard of before.

I mean, everyone loves sex. But we are all a bunch of pretenders who tend to paint sex as something dirty that resides only in the minds of perverted oversexed individuals. And that a woman who sleeps with several men is a whore whereas a man who sleeps with several women is macho blah, blah, blah…

favim.com

favim.com

Indeed we do believe so much in the latter stereotype that two rappers we know of in the music scene ended up concluding that the woman, both of them had slept with, was a whore. They didn’t look at themselves and see that they were probably lacking in integrity, for lusting after the same woman or the other one in the picture, who decided to sleep with his pal’s girlfriend was actually malicious. Since they are typical men full of themselves with their ego, successful rapping careers and money, they both decided that she had to be a whore for accepting to get laid by the two of them. So automatically, the woman is lacking in morals and is therefore cast aside and the men assume they were manly for sleeping with her and carry on being buddies. How warped??

Relationship blogs tell women that they should wait certain durations before giving themselves to a man they have began dating recently. I’m equally guilty of stating the same here in this blog. However, never have I stumbled upon a relationship blog which stated the duration of time a man should wait, before bedding a hot lass he has just started seeing. The story usually goes, men will always be men and that sex is a constant feature in their minds, which of course drives them to try all sorts of tricks on women in order to get laid. If the women in question fall for the tricks, usually because they are a bunch of clueless females, who believe that sex equals emotional bonding with the man, then they have themselves to blame for being too cheap.

Certain societies go ahead to further claim that a woman needs to have certain parts of her genitalia removed so that she can be tamed sexually. For men, it is a rite of passage. For women, it is to curtail her desires to want to have sex. As if God was nuts in designing a woman’s genitalia to include all those parts it has. These societies do not factor in the fact that by tampering with what was initially designed for a purpose, they are denying the woman the right to have a fulfilling sex life. Worst case scenario, causing her further unnecessary complications during childbirth and her menses. It is all for the sole reason that if left the way she was, designed beautifully, then she will automatically transform into a promiscuous female. Indeed there are women out there who point fingers at their fellow uncircumcised sisters as being dirty or whores.

This practice is so deeply rooted in some societies, to the extent where learned individuals residing in urban areas, still see the need to take their girls upcountry to get circumcised. It has actually taken the intervention of female activists to try and get some societies to understand that an uncircumcised girl is not flawed in any way. She is not inadequate as a woman and therefore does not need to be cast aside and subjected to ridicule. However, there is still a stretch of a journey left before FGM is totally done away with.

As a female, I feel as if we have been brainwashed to the extent where we have started believing in some of the nasty sexual stereotypes being thrown around with regards to women. For someone to actually point out that women endowed in a certain way are lovers of sex, is totally absurd. For some to go ahead and state that women from certain communities can’t keep their legs closed is even more absurd.

And then this same people are the ones who will go whining to radio stations that their wives are total logs in bed. Or they are ever laden with excuses as to why they don’t want to get intimate. If loving sex for women is a crime, how then do you expect this same women to enjoy the act of sex? Personally, I do not believe in anything such as someone loving sex. We all do for a fact. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be getting highly dissatisfied in relationships or marriages which are lacking in sex. We would be totally content and carrying on with our businesses as if nothing is amiss. As a matter of fact there would be no such term as “sexual frustration” neither would there be extra-marital affairs.

For women to be given a time limit on when they should get intimate in relationships is actually furthering a sexual stereotype that should have long been buried. For the self-righteous moralists, who are already pointing fingers at me for stating that, I’m not in any way encouraging immorality. And should women who sleep with men so soon after getting into relationships with them be branded loose or immoral, then the same should be applied to men who actually take the next step in sleeping with those same women so soon into a relationship. There should be no double standards as the act being carried out is the same.

Sex has always been a tricky subject and I’m totally convinced that it will be a long long journey before equal standards in this issue are attained. More so due to the patriarchal thinking by some.

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