At times i feel like we women are pushed to tolerate some things from men that if you look at them from a logical perspective, we actually shouldn’t. Today morning before i got out of bed, i was reading a certain dating article on the internet, where women were being somehow, indirectly urged to tolerate men who still valued their freedom while in a relationship with them. Apparently, the advice to women was to show the man that you actually understood his need to act free and not to fuss about the time he opted to spend with the ‘boys’ or actually fooling around with other women. And eventually, the man will notice that you actually are someone worth committing to, because over the course of the relationship, you have shown him that you don’t fret about how he divides his time between you and his social life.
Let me be very logical here from a woman’s perspective. The minute a woman gets into a relationship with a man, she automatically processes in her mind the fact that she is now currently sharing her heart with someone else. Meaning she starts to accommodate this man in many aspects of her life. She lets him know how her schedule is like and she always has it at the back of her mind that she needs to call this man and check up on him perhaps on a daily basis. She has since incorporated him as a part of her life and it is the reason why a few months down the line, she may feel the need to change her relationship status on social media to `in a relationship’ with so and so. She may also be very quick to let her close circle of friends know that she has met someone and is currently seeing this person. In short, most women are known to immediately divide their time once in a relationship in the sense that if she was this wild party girl who valued frequent `girls nights out’, she may start to reduce on the frequency once she feels like she has met this amazing person and is already in an equally amazing relationship. No wonder the times where some of her friends start complaining that she is nowadays never available for them since she met so and so because in most cases, the woman may end up giving nearly all of her free time to this particular man. Of course that is already unhealthy and i’m not asking you men to give us all of your free time for that matter in this post. The point i’m trying to drive at is that once in a relationship, many women have no qualms giving up their freedom in their quest to connect emotionally with this man and to commit to this man. When i talk about freedom, i mean the way she acted or what she did while single.
As i grow older year by year, i find that i’m getting highly dissatisfied with dating. I feel like most men are in it just for the sake of being in it. More like they don’t really mean it when they ask a woman to be their girlfriend. Men nowadays are not willing to give up their freedom. They want to have that woman in their lives but they still want to play the field and find out what’s in store for them out there or they are finding it really difficult to divide their time for the sake of us. The most appalling thing is that they don’t want us to question. I guess they expect us to tolerate those times when they are hardly communicating with us yet they claim to be dating us. Or those times they completely shut us out while out with the `boys’ or doing their thing. Or those times they pretend to be very busy when in the real sense they really are not that busy and are only avoiding being seen with us in public. The sad bit is that women are feeling pressured to tolerate these things through tag names such as `a nagging girlfriend’ or `an insecure woman’ or `a paranoid woman’. It is no wonder the particular article i was reading today had been posted by a man.
Many women are walking around with wounded hearts yet they are supposedly in a relationship that has been in existence for ages with a certain man. She wants him to give her more of his time but the man in question either acts like she is being unreasonable or chooses to ignore her needs. But then she doesn’t want to cause a scene over it or leave him for that matter because she doesn’t want to seem like she is pushing him to do things that he doesn’t want to do or because she still really loves him irregardless of how he is or has been acting. She is actually tolerating the intolerable for the sake of avoiding those
ugly tag names. I at times feel like we women put up with so much from men because we actually feel like we owe them something. But to hell with those tag names for once!!!
If at all you chose me to be your girlfriend then i don’t see why you don’t want to give up some things to be able to commit to me. I’m not asking you to give up your friends or your hobbies or whatever it is that you had been doing before i came into your life. I’m simply asking you to accommodate me in those aspects of your life. To keep in contact with me without much prompting. To be sensible enough to pick my calls when i call you. I might be in danger you never know those times i call you when you are in the middle of a football match or a video game or in a club somewhere with really loud music sipping on your drink. I don’t believe it is that hard to step out just for a moment to pick your girlfriend’s call and find out why she is calling. I’m asking you to at least act as if you are a man in a relationship with someone. To change your relationship status if you may. To create a boundary with other women and not to seem to be enjoying it when they are all over you yet you are committed to someone else as a boyfriend to her. I want to feel like i’m actually valued in this relationship and not like i’m being pressured to tolerate you who is not willing to adjust anything in your life for the sake of me. And if i ask you for all these things and you seem to have trouble giving them in return, then i have the right to walk away, forget the
nasty tag names because i want you to know that i cannot put up with a bare minimum from you.